Aging Parents in Home
By: Amos Goodall
More parents are moving in with their adult children. As nursing home costs rise, families are finding that living together is a better arrangement, both financially and emotionally. Joining households is a big adjustment, and it is important to be prepared. This ranges from making physical adjustments to the house to figuring finances. It is important in making the decision to move together, everyone be certain that this is the right move for the parents and that the children can provide the help needed.
Work out financial details first. If the children have siblings, whether they will contribute to the parents' room and board can be sensitive. Even without siblings, how much the parents can or should contribute to the household remains a question. An extra mouth to feed can be expensive. Major renovations or hiring a home health care worker is even more costly.
Many considerations have tax or other consequences. Should the parents have a contract to pay the children for care? If the parents contribute to remodeling, do they gift their share of the cost to the children, retain an interest in the house, in fee or in a life estate, or use a trust? These decisions can affect the parents' eligibility for Medicaid they later enter a nursing home. To avoid fostering resentment and guilt among family members, you should try to work these issues out before the big move. An elder law attorney can help create a plan that takes the contingencies into account, so that everyone is on the same page.
Make the home senior friendly. Whether adding an addition or just fixing up a spare bedroom, adjustments will probably have to be made. Basic adjustments include replacing doorknobs with levers, checking railings to make sure they are sturdy, installing grab bars in the bathroom, and putting non-slip backings on rugs. More significant changes could be converting a first floor room to a bedroom, widening doors for wheelchairs or walkers, and installing ramps.
Additionally, the space should be personalized. Consider what would make parents feel at home. It is important that even if they only have a bedroom, it feels like their space.
Look into a tax deduction. The children may be able to claim the parents as dependents, if they provide more than half their support.
Know where to go for help. If family members shouldn’t feel like they are alone. A number of services can help. Home health care workers, meals on wheels, transportation services, adult day care centers and respite services, are among the many programs that may be available. Contact a geriatric care manager or the Area Agency on the Aging to find services.